


Red

by yusahana6323



Category: the GazettE
Genre: M/M, Sensuality, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-20 16:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3657312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yusahana6323/pseuds/yusahana6323
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aoi had always been thinking of it and longing for it. So when it became reality, it became harder to restrain himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red

  Red lipstick was something that Aoi had really only thought of fleetingly, while conscious. It had been awhile that he'd thought, fleetingly, on and off, of the colour fitting the plush curves of Ruki's lips and pairing with bright blue contacts. Bold, flirty, daring... they suited the tiny vocalist well, especially now that he was a little bit older, more confident, no longer in the awkward body of a teenager but in the strong and luscious one of an experienced person.

  In dreams it was a bit different. Flirty, pointedly promiscuous. Daring, to step up to any role. Bold, in that he would be incredibly forward and aggressive in a way that Aoi had only seen on stage, that he wouldn't have considered Ruki capable of normally. Aoi's normal confidence that he wasn't attracted to men sexually - Aoi would fall in love with anyone, honestly, but sex wasn't something he would consider with anyone - was shattered in dreams when Ruki, always in red, heeled him.

  So it was a blow when he saw the vocalist with red lips for the first time since the early days of the band. Ruki had sent him the pictures for some photoshoot or another during the promos for Division, and carelessly, Aoi opened it up, not really expecting what he saw despite having been told what they contained. When they met his eye, he couldn't help but stare, feeling like maybe his jaw had dropped. Ruki in that police costume with fishnets, messy hair, and deep Bordeaux lips. Not the bright red he had always envisioned, but for this darker shoot, it felt like it fit. He stared, his dreams flashing back before his eyes, this image too familiar. He was terrified that he might have mentioned those dreams to someone, who had replicated them to taunt him.

  Ruki was sort of a sex object. He posed himself so, and everyone would agree with that statement. But this was the first time it had hit Aoi like this. The costume just added to it. And Aoi couldn't separate his association of Ruki's red lips of erotic fantasy from real life, from work. He almost threw his phone when he realised just how much it was affecting him. He had to take awhile to calm down, to talk himself down.

  "It's fine. No one knows. It's just you. It's just you that thinks of that, when you see him like that..." Aside from the fans. Aoi didn't think about them in a situation like this. "And you shouldn't think of him like that. He's your friend. He's your vocalist. He is not your whore...!"

  But he couldn't help it. Asleep, he could blame his thoughts, his fantasies, his feelings on anything. Lack of sex, lack of stimulation, boredom, tiredness, preoccupation with work... any number of things. But awake, he had nothing to shunt the blame to. It was all him. All his desire, all his craving, all his filthy thoughts. He felt guilty and ashamed of it, but there was no stopping it. There was no stopping the thoughts and feelings and lust, the fantasy of having Ruki here in his lap, between his legs, those full burgundy-wine lips wrapping around him, blue-veiled eyes staring up at him. Aoi worked himself, his eyes closed, just imagining it, and he whimpered his friend's name when it peaked and passed. He felt all the more filthy for it.

  "God, if he ever knew..."

  At least it was just a photoshoot. Ruki wouldn't have that makeup or that costume for lives. That was his only relief. So he was able to restrain himself when he went out, not giving Ruki or anyone else in the band any hint of what he did at home. They would never know he would pull those pictures up when he needed release, his imagination all the more vivid for having a concrete, real image to draw from. There was no way for them to even suspect him of it. It was discreet, all his dirty little secret.

  He joked about his sex life as normal, but he couldn't tell anyone that over the next year, his desire for anyone else had rapidly declined. The idea of women, any shape or size, any race or sexuality or other category, no longer held the power it used to. Pornography no longer interested him. It frustrated him. Pushing away the images and fantasies of Ruki didn't make his hunger return.

  Aoi realised he was deeply in love with Ruki, more than he might have ever thought. Maybe it was the extra fantasy, or maybe it was just the extra time and closeness with the band, with his friend. Ruki seemed more attentive to him, closer, joking and playing with him more. With it came the idea that his adoration had moved to, or paired with, the lust and evolved further. And it killed him to keep it inside. It killed him to be so close, to feel the little body he hungered for pressed against him, under his fingertips, and yet so far. Ruki was popular. Ruki had given his heart to other people. Aoi knew Ruki loved him as a close friend, as a brother, and they were inseparable because of their long years together. But Aoi couldn't expect Ruki would ever return his feelings.

  He had no way to vent it. Masturbation and erotic dreams and fantasies only gave him so much, and only for so long. By the time they were halfway through tour, he had become more addicted to Ruki than he'd ever thought possible. He had to be closer. He had to be touched, and teased, and played with. He had to have those eyes, blue or brown or any colour, on him,  or he'd lose it.

  He did lose it, for a bit. But it was calculated. At the final, when frustrations and stress had built him to burst, he took it into his own hands. He'd approached Ruki, who hadn't been wearing lipstick at the time, and flat-out kissed him on the cheek. The vocalist's head jerk and surprised expression almost killed him, but it was the smile that stayed that kept him rooted. Ruki wouldn't hate him for being more forward with 'fanservice'. Relieved, Aoi finished the live and went home feeling better.

  Unfortunately, it didn't last too long.

  Another photoshoot, another dive into his fantasies. Ruki texted him from the location and attached a picture, showing off his thin chest and the corset binding his waist. Leather jacket, skirt, pants, and even bunny ears. And his weakness; again, dark red lipstick.

  <What do you think of what I chose?>

  "Damn you," Aoi whispered, formulating it all into a clearer image in his head. Ruki as a playboy bunny, whip in hand, licking his full ruby lips. "You little shit." «Looks good. You're now Bunny chan.»

  <Only you can call me that.>

  Aoi tried to ignore the shiver of pleasure that gave him. And then he gave himself up to his thoughts again, to the dreams, more aggressive now, of Ruki giving him even more intense pleasure with warm wet and tight heat. In them, Ruki's sweet voice, his breath and gasps and mewls, from those wine-red lips, were as erotic as his body. Those lips were even more erotic when they were what enveloped him, making him melt into the dark depths and bright blue eyes.

_"Sweet Aoi, give it all to me..."_

  He jerked awake more than once with that whispering moan echoing in his ear, only to slump back with the ache of his muscles protesting him leaving the dreams. He couldn't blame his physical form for the thoughts and fantasies. Emotionally too, he wanted it more than anything. Having Ruki, the one who had led him to this life and had saved him, was the most fulfilling thing he could imagine.

  Aoi tried to ignore it, but when he went in one day when they would be planning their outfits for Fadeless and Beautiful Deformity, he found Ruki slowly lining his lips with deep red lipstick. He looked up at Aoi and smiled a bit.

  "What do you think? I'm going with red this time. All red."

  "Uh..." Aoi's mind was blank. He couldn't take his eyes off those crimson curves. "I..."

  "I don't think this one's red enough." Ruki took a tissue and wiped it off, smearing the bright passionate colour away. "Let's try another one."

  Slowly, the guitarist sank down into a nearby chair, watching as Ruki picked another stick and slowly applied it to his lips. The already-full curves plumped under the scarlet, turning the thoughtful pout into the seductive smirk of the Ruki from his dreams. Aoi bit his lip, closing his eyes.

  "You okay?" the other asked.

  "Yeah, just a bit tired."

  "Well, look and tell me if you think this one's better."

  Aoi just barely opened his eyes and peeked at Ruki, at the small smile that was no longer innocent. He wondered if this was how fangirls felt when Ruki was teasing onstage... the twisting hot feeling in his gut, then moan from nowhere that wanted to whimper out of him. He wanted those bright red lips to be all his...!

  "Yeah, it's better," he somehow managed to say.

  "I think so too." Ruki glanced at the stick, then back into his mirror. A satisfied smirk curved his mouth now. "Definitely. Especially if it's getting that reaction out of you."

  "Thanks," Aoi replied, heart in his throat.

  "It's good, I like it. Thanks for helping."

  "No problem. I'll be back."

  He splashed himself with ice-cold water, over and over, in the bathroom, gasping and trying to regain himself. Did Ruki know his insignificant kink? Was that why he was teasing him like this, over and over? Or was he innocently just choosing red for whatever reason? It had been such a long time that he had habitually had any sort of red on his lips... no, there was no way Ruki could know. Aoi wouldn't have let on in any way. Ruki couldn't know. With a deep breath, he dried his face and went back in to the studio.

  Ruki kept the lipstick on all through practise, and keeping his eyes away from the sight drove Aoi insane. It was a relief to go home and get away from it, though the image followed him. Again those red lips haunted his dreams, and again he woke exhausted and needy.

  He didn't know if he could keep doing this, but he had to. He couldn't just tell Ruki how he felt. What he wanted. He had to keep pretending. So Aoi dealt with it alone, eyes closed so he could see from his imagination, and with Ruki's name moaning from his lips. It was the only way for him to stand the days that Ruki came in, still wearing the lipstick and glancing at him with a teasing smirk. He just patiently bore it, the fantasies raging in his head, until he got home and he could let it out, ending with a whimper every time.

  A couple days off, and Aoi was incredibly relieved. Usually, the time in the studio with the band was the best part of his day. But he needed a break. He was too uptight, getting too stiff around Ruki. Someone would know something was up. So the break was good. He could unwind and relax. Practising by himself, his mind wandered a bit as his hands played on their own.

  Though he was glad for the break, to be away from what was tensing him, he couldn't help but think of it. Ruki again... Ruki always on his mind. It had been that way for a long time, but of course now it was more vivid, just like the colour of his lipstick. Ruki's voice, which he had always imagined, which had tuned his music for years, was clearer yet more vulgar. His image pulsed with that seductive colour. Aoi didn't want to turn Ruki into anything but that pure, if tempting, man that he had sworn to follow, but his mind and desire didn't let him have a choice anymore.

  He jerked out of his thoughts when he heard the doorbell ring. With a sigh, he set down his guitar and made his way down to the front door. He peeked out, felt his body seize up as he saw his guest, but he somehow managed to open it with a shaky hand.

  "Ru, what are you doing here?"

  Ruki arched a delicate eyebrow. "I've been texting you all day and you never responded, so I had to come check on you."

  "Have you? I'm sorry." He hadn't noticed his phone go off. "Come in."

  The tiny vocalist slipped in, politely taking off his shoes and following Aoi back. He set his back on the sofa and plopped down, and slowly, a bit warily, Aoi sat on the opposite end.

  "Enjoying your days off?" Ruki asked with a small smile - an insignificant, but to Aoi, maddening, smile.

  "It's nice to have time to be home."

  "Haven't you gone out?"

  "No, I've felt like being a homebody."

  "That's not bad either. I've felt like you've needed some rest."

  That shot his nerves more than they were already. "Oh?"

  "You've looked edgy. Something wrong?"

  Ruki looked concerned, but there was something about his expression that made the back of Aoi's neck prickle. He took a few moments to gather himself.

  "No, just... I think I need more sleep."

  "We all do."

  "I'll be right back, I want to grab my phone."

  "Sure."

  Aoi eased himself off the sofa and left the room, pausing when he got to his music room. He took a deep breath, leaning forward onto the back of his chair to steady himself. He hadn't realised how much he'd missed Ruki's presence. It always threw him. He picked up his phone and unlocked it to look at the messages Ruki had sent him, but to his confusion, there were none. Not from Ruki, at least. Messages from almost anyone else. His heart thumping in the back of his throat, he slowly went back down the hall

  "Ru? I didn't get any messages from... you..."

  The dark eyes glanced up at him, seeming closer to black than their normal dark chocolate over the pop of that goddamn red lipstick. Aoi stood in the doorway, staring. Had he really been gone long enough for Ruki to put that on? He was certain the singer hadn't been wearing it when he had arrived. A smile curled the corners of that blood-red mouth now.

  "I lied, sorry."

  "What are you wearing... that... for..."

  "Confirming something."

  "And what would that be?" Aoi asked, forcing his voice to be as normal as he could manage.

  "Come sit down."

  Aoi resisted for a moment, but he felt like his legs might give out on him any moment, so slowly, he went and sat down. It was a bit too close to Ruki for his liking, but from the expression on the vocalist's face, he wouldn't have allowed Aoi to sit elsewhere. His eyes kept tracing the full red curves as his mind played from the catalogue of his dreams what that mouth would do to him... what he wanted, what he dreamed, what he was desperate for.

  "What are you confirming?" Aoi repeated after a moment, growing a bit uncomfortable with the silence.

  Ruki gazed at him, eyes hot and calculating, but at the same time, a tiny bit curious. And then suddenly he had moved closer, one slender hand on Aoi's knee, pressing into it to push himself up. Aoi realised at the last second and tried to pull back, but the tiny touch somehow kept him firmly in place. Ruki's face was against his, his snub nose brushing Aoi's, and then there was that sensation... silken but warm, and so very soft, pressing right into his mouth. Sparks lit in Aoi's system as Ruki kissed him with those crimson lips, and part of him screamed to pull away because those sparks would burn into something more, but the majority of him stayed, thirsting for the fire. Ruki's eyes were still staring into his, watching him, watching his reaction.

  When he pulled back, it was just a breath, and the soft sound of their parting ran shivers down Aoi's spine. He didn't know precisely what to think or do. The only thing was, Ruki had just kissed him and lit his body to burn. He could only stare, deliriously unsure that this had happened. The younger man was still watching him, eyes locked into his, but then he leaned the tiny space back in and kissed him again, and with that, Aoi could no longer resist. He returned it, pressing into Ruki's lips, hungry for the flesh and the warmth. Ruki's eyebrows contracted for a moment, but then he tilted more into it, letting it deepen just slightly.

  Aoi couldn't let it go. His hands were fisted tightly in the sofa cushions, but his mouth kept going for more and more, pressing harder and deeper until Ruki opened up and they connected. Aoi felt his heart skip a beat as he felt Ruki's hand curl around the back of his neck, and then there was that wonderful wet tongue he had seen so many times against any number of other objects, and had wanted, now it was licking into his mouth, not shy as he might have thought, but as bold and dominant as he was onstage. Aoi closed his eyes tightly, fighting back a groan at the feel of Ruki's tongue on his, and he thrust back at it, wanting to control it. His whole body was on fire, stemming from where Ruki was pouring the flame into him, so hot that he thought he might die. He had wanted it, and getting it was the fuel - but if he would die from his desire, he would take it. He gave himself fully over to it, hearing Ruki's soft sighs when they parted for an instant of breath, and he pushed harder into the yielding mouth. He didn't realise that he had long ago released the cushions and seized Ruki's slender body, holding it tightly and in place as he forced his way in, as if he wanted to get into the vocalist's throat. Ruki's hand was pulling on his hair, the other off his knee and digging manicured nails into his collarbone. None of it hurt, except that it was painfully erotic. Ruki in his arms, Ruki in his mouth, Ruki kissing him with all the strength that little body could muster. Even thought it was mostly innocent, it was better than his most pornographic dreams.

  That simple thought snapped him back to himself. He was supposed to deny this, for so many reasons. Whereas it had been a struggle to let Ruki keep him, now it was a struggle to part from him. He pushed on the hips he was holding, trying to distance Ruki enough, but the vocalist, whose eyes were still fixed on his face, kept kissing and sucking at him, his stubbornness showing now. His hands tightened in their holds, digging into his scalp and collar until Aoi was sure he felt blood welling in the nails. He forced himself to cut off the kiss and raise his head, gasping in breath that now seemed arctic cold.

  "Fuck...!"

  Now Ruki stopped - the nails gently released his skin, and the one in his hair slid to his shoulder. Aoi panted hard, shivering in the cold air as his body cooled, save for where Ruki was still touching him. His hands were still clutching the slender waist, holding the vocalist in his lap. He tried to make himself let go, but he couldn't focus on two things at once. For now, it was breathing, in and out, trying to slow his heart rate to normal. The way it was pounding was agony.

  "That," Ruki said after a moment, voice betraying that he was slightly winded. Slowly, still breathing hard, Aoi lowered his head to meet the dark, smoldering gaze, the small smirk on the ruby mouth. "That was what I wanted to confirm."

  "What?" Aoi asked, his voice wheezing a bit. His eyes, damn them, travelled the crimson curves, down to the soft jaw and the slight curve of Ruki's neck, to his chest, which, though not breathing as deeply as Aoi himself was, was moving unevenly.

  "The way you've been looking at me."

  "I haven't..."

  Ruki raised a fine eyebrow, and Aoi turned his head, biting his lip. He could still taste Ruki on his tongue. He savoured it, biting harder.

  "It hasn't been hard to see, or to hear, or to feel. Not for years. You aren't so good at passing things off as friendly flirting or fanservice, Aoi. The only one that hasn't accepted it is you."

  "I don't know what you're talking about."

  "You kissed me back. You clutched me close and kissed me so hard it was like you thought it was  your last moment. That's as good a confession as any. You can say you're horny, or you need sex, or whatever, if that makes you feel better, but you know it won't help you feel better for very long. Then you'll be back to struggling with it and trying to pass yourself off as alright."

  He was right, but Aoi didn't want to say so. He felt panicked at the idea of saying things out loud. If he didn't, there was no reason anything could go wrong. He couldn't be blamed. He could always shunt anything off onto carnal needs.

  "Just admit it verbally, and it will stop hurting so much."

  "No..."

  "I won't leave until you do."

  "I can't, Ruki."

  "You don't have to tell another soul. But don't lie to me anymore. You'll never be able to keep lying to me. The sooner, the better."

  "I can't." He didn't want to ruin anything. He needed the band... needed Ruki. He didn't have anything else. There were always other friends, of course, he had so many that loved him and he loved, but the band was his everything. It was what had saved him, it was what gave him reason to live. Ruki was what had saved him. If he admitted, he would tear it apart. It wasn't like what Reita and Uruha had, where they were a set and you couldn't have one of them without the other. They had been like that far earlier than this. But with Ruki, it was changing something that had been so solid. It was disrupting one of the concrete elements and making it unstable. "I can't, Ru."

  "For me."

  It was harder to resist that. Aoi would gladly do anything for Ruki. But this was...

  A hand cupped his cheek, slowly turning his face back so his gaze fell into those eyes. Ruki's expression was soft. No more seduction, no more fire. Just pure warmth.

  "Aoi."

  He closed his eyes, biting his lip. He couldn't. Now Ruki pulled him down so their foreheads and noses  pressed together. It brought his gaze open again, to see how close they were, and he felt how  Ruki's lips brushed his ever so lightly.

  "Say it," Ruki repeated gently.

  He was weak. He was needy. If Ruki hadn't kissed him, he might have played this game all night and not given in. But Ruki had worn him down. He didn't have the strength, not after that ravaging, erotic fire, to deny him.

  "I love you," he whispered, hating himself for it.

  Aoi didn't know what he had expected Ruki to do in response. The soft smile surprised him, then. Ruki lifted his head and pressed his lips to Aoi's forehead, and the darker one closed his eyes heavily.

  "You should have said it so long ago."

  "I couldn't... it would ruin everything."

  "It's ruined nothing. Just confirmed it."

  "I know you won't love me back."

  "You're an idiot to think I don't." The kiss pressed to the bridge of his nose now, and Aoi quivered softly at the feeling. "Didn't you see how happy I was when you kissed me?"

  Aoi jerked a bit at the question, mind instantly flashing back to the stage... to remembering the look of warm happiness on Ruki's face, that surprised but shy smile after Aoi had landed that simple kiss on his cheek.

  "Did you think I was pretending?" Ruki's voice was quiet, but not angry. A bit sad, maybe.

  "I... I didn't know what to think..."

  Ruki pulled his head closer, put his lips to Aoi's pierced ear, and began murmuring softly to him... his words had Aoi shivering. The light tone, but the filthy, flaming suggestions... they set his body aching again. His face leaning into Ruki's neck, he took a few deep breaths, tasting the scent on the back of his tongue. Ruki holding him and talking to him like this was nothing less than a dream come true.

  "What do you think of that?" Ruki asked now, petting his hair lightly.

  "If you had told me those things sooner, I might have admitted."

  A small laugh, and Ruki pulled back, resting their faces together once more. Aoi stared at the face, the closed, heavy eyelids and long black lashes. That serene smile was a comfort, even as much as the extra shade of sinful red inflamed him. Had Ruki looked this absolutely happy lately? Aoi didn't think he could recall such a relaxed expression. It had his heart beating wildly again.

  "Will you admit to me, then? Since you made me do it?" he tried.

  Another tiny adorable laugh, one that Aoi knew too well and loved too much. Once more, the chocolatey depths looked up at him.

  "I'm a little in love with you, too."

  "That's not fair," Aoi huffed slightly.

  "Get over it." Ruki kissed him lightly, then straightened up, though his hands still held Aoi's face. "It will change, with time."

  "Are you leaving now?"

  "I didn't have too long to stay. I just wanted to come and make sure you'd be alright. I think you will be now."

  "I think so too." Aoi didn't want Ruki to go, but he knew he would survive now. He turned his head a bit, so his lips were to Ruki's smooth palm. Even his hands smelled so much like him... "Thanks for worrying about me. And treating me."

  "Treating...? Oh, the lipstick?" The smile turned to a slight smirk. No, not a smirk... just a bit triumphant. "It's only been for you, the moment I realised how much you liked it."

  "You little shit."

  Ruki did fully laugh now, standing up and making his way to a tissue box. He rubbed the red away, smearing it onto the white tissue, and Aoi watched, feeling a bit too disbelieving still to stand. The vocalist made his way back, picking up his bag.

  "I'll hear from you soon."

  "Of course you will." Aoi tentatively reached out and took Ruki's hand. So small and slender, smooth... Ruki was so incredibly delicate to the touch, even if he had unbelievable strength hidden in his small frame. Lust was still raging in Aoi, but with the gentle touches and the soft kisses, the admission of mutual feelings, his feelings of protection and affection for this other man had become overwhelming. Ruki's eyes lit up a bit, and he took Aoi's hand, squeezing it.

  "Until then."

  He leaned over, and Aoi's breath caught in his throat as, for the last time, Ruki kissed him. No more ruby-red lips, but Aoi didn't need them. Ruki himself was enough. Aoi cupped Ruki's soft cheek in one hand, holding him until they parted. Ruki smiled, pulled back, and left, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Aoi stayed where he was, watching the other slip on his shoes and then disappear out the door. He sat for awhile, rerunning everything through his mind, feeling every physical sensation and emotional rush again. Still, Ruki's taste was on his lips and tongue. Still, his scent clung to Aoi. His touch, too. Aoi's body was warm and relaxed, flushed with all he had taken in.

  For years, he had worried for no reason. It seemed a bit surreal still, but Ruki's touch and voice and eyes wouldn't lie. And the red, the tempting, lustful red... no longer just that. Now it was also warmth, and passion of love, not just of sin but also of acceptance. Aoi felt his lips twist up in a small smile.

  "You always make things change so much... so they are no longer what they once were. Your touch changes them to more beautiful than before. Only you. Only ever you could tame my red from carnal to something so much more chaste."


End file.
